


Too Much of a Good Thing

by Salazar101



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Inappropriate use of nutella, Junkrat has no self control, M/M, Vomiting, handjobs, thigh fucking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-22
Updated: 2016-09-22
Packaged: 2018-08-16 18:06:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8112175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Salazar101/pseuds/Salazar101
Summary: Anything tastes better than bugs, and Roadhog DID say that Nutella was supposed to be eaten ON things.





	

**Author's Note:**

> MMMMMM that's some gross porn. Visit me at [ohgodsalazarwhy](http://ohgodsalazarwhy.tumblr.com/) where I take requests and do commissions

The first time they robbed a grocery store Roadhog thought Junkrat was going to have a stroke.

“Wot’s with all this food?!” He screeched at the produce, as if the pile of lettuce would screech back. “Who eats this much! A waste!” He stomped his peg and the woman curled up on the floor jerked and sobbed. Junkrat didn’t even seem to notice her.

“Let’s just empty the registers and go,” Roadhog growled, “before the cops show up.” He ripped open the register in front of him and stuffed wads of cash into his bag.

Junkrat wasn’t listening, he was too busy working himself into a lather, “All this food in bags!” He screamed, now hobbling down the chip aisle, “look at ‘em, all fat with food an’ we was starvin’ an’ eatin’ bugs, wasn’t we, Roadie?!”

“ _You_ were eating bugs,” said Roadhog, resigning himself to doing all the work.

“I should blow this place sky-high,” Junkrat frothed, loading up his launcher with a menacing scowl, “that’d show ‘em! These scrap-heap lovin’ pieces of-”

“Just grab some food and get over here!” Roadhog bellowed, hearing sirens in the distance, “we don’t have time for this, you idiot!”

Junkrat seemed intent on starting a fire, but there wasn’t time to indulge his tantrum. Roadhog hoisted his bag of money over one shoulder and ran down the aisle to grab Junkrat around the waist, forcibly dragging him away before he could starting flinging grenades. As they passed Roadhog grabbed whatever he could reach and stuffed it into Junkrat’s bag.

Junkrat was still swearing and thrashing, but he couldn’t budge Hog’s grip. They ripped out on the motorcycle minutes before the cops squealed into the lot.

“Ya shouldn’t have stopped me!” Junkrat yelled over the sound of the rushing wind.

Roadhog wasn’t feeling particularly charitable and replied, “Did you know they just toss perfectly good food in the trash if they don’t eat it?”

That got him a few solid minutes of wordless screaming and garbled swearing. Junkrat was like a fire, you could let him smolder for ages, or you could burn him out at both ends in minutes. Once the screaming petered away Junkrat slouched in his sidecar, conked out.

By the time they got to the motel, he’d forgotten what he was supposed to be angry about and had flipped to being excited to count their money. “We get a lot, Hog?” Junkrat asked, throwing himself down on their bed.

“It’s a grocery store, not a bank,” Roadhog grunted. He sat down and started to pull out the money, sorting it into piles to be counted. Junkrat didn’t have the attention span to watch and was digging through his own bag in seconds.

“Ya grabbed a lot!” He crowed, “Wot’s this?”  Roadhog didn’t look up from the money, but he heard a cap being unscrewed and then wet, sloppy eating and sucking sounds that never failed to grate at his nerves. Now Junkrat was making sounds of pleasure, the same kind he made when he was jerking off or getting fucked.

“Would you be quiet!?” Roadhog snapped without looking up.

“Hoggie, mate…ohhh ya gotta taste this! It’s so…sweet? Mate it’s sooo good,” Junkrat made another sucking sound and then moaned. Roadhog was going to ignore him until sticky fingers wrapped around his wrist.

Roadhog looked up with a glower the Rat couldn’t see behind the mask. Junkrat had something smeared down his chin and all over his flesh hand, which was in turn getting it all over Hog’s wrist. In his metal hand he clutched a jar of Nutella which he’d obviously been scooping generous amounts of into his mouth.

“Is this really food?” He whispered reverently, “is this what they eat all th’ time?”

“You’re not supposed to eat it like that,” said Roadhog, “it goes on things.”

Junkrat pondered that, letting go of Hog’s wrist to lick at his sticky fingers. Roadhog went back to counting, at least until something thick and sticky was spread over his nipple, followed by an eager mouth and tongue.

“Hey!” Roadhog barked, grabbing Junkrat by the hair to wrench his head back.

“You’re right, mate,” Junkrat panted, “it does taste even better on things!”

What the hell; Roadhog wasn’t in the mood to fight Junkrat off.  Better to just go with the flow on this one.  He let the greasy, dirty hair go and Junkrat immediately went back to sucking and licking over his nipple, taking the silver ring between his teeth to give it a small tug and send a jolt of pleasure straight to Hog’s cock.

“The other one,” he ordered shortly, sitting back against the headboard to just savor wherever this went.

Junkrat scooped out another bit of Nutella to smear it messily along his other nipple and down his belly, that disgusting hand fumbling with his belt buckle and getting it just as dirty.  Roadhog growled and slapped his hand away to do it himself.  Well, they needed to do laundry anyway, Junkrat’s shorts could probably walk on their own.

While his mouth lapped and suckled every bit of Nutella off his nipple (”Can’t believe these people use their food like this,” Junkrat had muttered between sucks) his sticky hand was wrapped around Hog’s flaccid cock, bringing him to hardness with every stroke.  The heat of their skin made the Nutella slippery as well as sticky and Junkrat’s fingers started to glide along his flesh with wet squelching sounds.

Once he got tired of Rat’s sharp teeth clinking against his nipple ring, Hog grabbed him by the neck to flip him onto his back.  Junkrat laughed high and loud, face and neck and chest dripping with drool and chocolate.  “Ya’ve never tasted better, Mako!”

“You’re disgusting, Jamison,” Roadhog sneered, kneeling between Junkrat’s splayed thighs.

“Ya know ya love it!” he hooted, completely undeterred by Hog’s words or tone.

Roadhog let out a short breath through his nose, pushing up his mask just enough to free his mouth so he could bend down and kiss that filthy fucking mouth, tasting chocolate and hazelnuts on his tongue.  Probably the best Jamie had ever tasted in his life.  With one hand he squeezed Rat’s skinny thighs together, stuffing his cock between them to rut into him roughly.  

Junkrat was an abnormally flexible man and he twisted so they wouldn’t have to stop kissing.  “Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!”  Roadhog felt each pant against his mouth and swallowed them down greedily, enjoying the taste of Junkrat’s pleasure far more than the sticky sweetness smeared all over his face.  He could feel his massive cock brushing along Junkrat’s with every thrust, giving him just a hint of friction, keeping him on edge.

He fucked Rat until that pleasure started to crest, until he was growling and snarling between kisses and Junkrat was a shivering, jittery mess.  Roadhog pulled out from between Rat’s sticky, sweaty thighs crawl up his lanky body and grab him by the hair, yanking his head back so his neck arched and his adams apple bobbed with each swallow.  Junkrat didn’t even have to be ordered to open his mouth wide, tongue sticking out and eyes narrowing as he smiled.

Roadhog jerked his cock a few short times then growled out his pleasure as his hot come splashed over Junkrat’s dirty face, thick ropes covering one eye, getting in his hair, splashing into his open mouth and over his tongue.  Junkrat made the same kind of decadent sound of pleasure he made when eating Nutella and swallowed very drop that landed in or near his mouth.

“Now me?” he asked eagerly, one eyes still shut and covered in come as the other danced eagerly, a bright and eerie orange.

All Roadhog had to do was reach back and grip Junkrat’s cock in his fist just on the side of painful for him to keen and come hard, panting and drooling as his seed spilled into Hog’s palm and between his fingers.

“Hooley Dooley,” Junkrat sighed happily, blinking his one eye sleepily, “We need more of that stuff!”

“For the record,” Roadhog said gruffly, getting up and starting to unhook Rat’s prosthetics, “you’re supposed to eat it on _food_ , not people.”  If he left Rat to his own devices he’d probably fall asleep like this, coated in come and Nutella.

“Phoaw,” Junkrat said as he was picked up and carried, “I think it’s better on ya, Hoggie.”

A quick shower for the both of them and Junkrat was awake enough to sit on the bed and continue to loudly eat the food they’d stolen.  He marveled at all the new tastes and textures, and was particularly enamored by anything sweet.  Roadhog fell asleep to the sound of him opening a new package and gasping at the taste of some new junk food.

He woke up to moaning.

Not good moaning.

Roadhog squinted at the clock then grumbled to see 5AM flash in his face, mocking him.  He smashed the clock then rolled over to see Junkrat clutching his gut and groaning, surrounded by crumbs and empty packages.  “Oooohhh Hog I don’t feel so good,” he whimpered, and even the darkness Roadhog could just make out the agony on his face.

“You shouldn’t have eaten all that junk,” he grunted, rolling back over to try and get more sleep.

“Why would food do this to ya?” Junkrat whined, sounding hurt and betrayed.

“Your body isn’t used to this kinda shit,” Roadhog said shortly, “and you ate an entire jar of Nutella.  You earned this.  Learn your lesson.”

“Oi’m nevah… oof… never again, Roadie…never- HURAGH!”  Roadhog sat up and pinched the bridge of his nose as Junkrat rolled over to vomit off the side of the bed.  “Oi’ve learned me lesson!” he wailed between spitting.

He hadn’t.


End file.
